Ray Payne: Well... uh, yo... Miss Cyndie iz not nicies, yo. She still wunts tah hurtie Miss Charity, yo.
Johnny Vegas: Does that really surprise you? Once again.. LOOK at who trains her? LOOK at who she's associated with! DUH.
Ray Payne: Butted... I jus wuz saysing dat--
Terra Skye: SO!!! There we saw a listing of the upcoming shows on the OWF Network. Some good stuff coming up, wouldn't you say, guys?
Johnny Vegas: Personally, I don't give a rats ass… but yeah! Sure Terra! Lets just ignore the fact that Charity Jones is being hunted... Yup. I'm absolutely looking forward to EVERYTHING that the OWF Network has to offer! Is that good? Do I need more enthusiasm?
Terra Skye: You should be, There's going to be a documentary series based on the history of Carnage Wrestling! I can't wait!
Ray Payne: Me eifah, yo! Dat is gunna be a guud showz, yo!
Johnny Vegas: Why? We all already KNOW the history of CW. We were fucking there! It's really not ‘documentary’ worthy… Let me give you all a run down of Carnage Wrestling to this point. Guy in a clown-
Terra Skye: Johnny! Shut up! It's time to get the next match started!
Johnny Vegas: Uh.. OKAY. Considering you were the one who interrupted Ray and I to begin with.. ya cunt.
Matt Wylde steps back into the ring, looking obviously shaken.
Matt Wylde: This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an Ultraviolent match!
The lights in the arena darken, and a red fog covers the stage as “Stillborn” by the Black Label Society begins playing over the PA system. The crowd begins booing as Nathan Cristion steps confidently out onto the stage, the red fog encompassing his body as a single red spotlight begins shining from behind him, casting his shadow on the far wall. He stands there, motionless atop the stage as the song continues, and the crowd continues booing.
Matt Wylde: First to the ring, standing tall at six foot six inches and weighing two hundred and eighty five pounds, NATHANN CRISTIONNNNNNNN!!
Nathan Cristion
Terra Skye: I think we forget sometimes just how large this man is. He's not only big, but he's strong…
Ray Payne: Wherez Miss Maggie, yo?
Terra Skye: Ooor we could just change the subject. That's good too. Thanks Ray.
Johnny Vegas: You're right though, Terra. This bastard has a lot in his arsenal, and he's not afraid to use it. That's why Altus isn't going to have it easy tonight against the man he brutally injured just after he and Ojeda joined CW.
Terra Skye: Good point. And I'm sure Cristion hasn't forgotten that either, considering he's recently returned from that very injury.
As if he's been summoned to the ring, Cristion begins moving down the ramp, approaching ringside in a matter of seconds, his long legs carrying him there rather quickly. He ascends the ringside steps and steps over the top rope to enter the ring as the lights in the arena come back on slowly. The big man paces the ring while the music fades out and the arena darkens once again, this time the crowd comes to a tepid quiet, anticipating the coming match. The opening assault of “Beyond the Pale” by Exodus begins to build until Randy Blythe belts out a trademark cat-like scream and Gary Altus emerges from behind the curtains. His sole focus is the ring before him as he stands on the stage, glaring down at it and his opponent within it.
Terra Skye: Gary Altus isn't one to be underestimated though. He may have lost to the Carnage Champion at Chaos 19, but his attack after the match made sure everyone was still aware of how vicious this man can be.
Ray Payne: Wherez Miss Mellie, yo?
Johnny Vegas: She has the night off. Well earned might I add. I'm sure we'll be seeing her at Chaos 21. But to add to your point Terra, Altus is a beast. A scary, unassuming beast. This match is going to be brutal, because while Cristion has the size advantage, Altus makes up for it in ferocity.
Matt Wylde: And his opponent, standing in at six foot two inches and weighing two hundred and thirty pounds….. GARYYY ALTUSSSSSS!!
Gary Altus
Altus wastes no time shaking hands, or slapping flesh as he makes his way through the booing crowd. Approaching the ring, Anubis reaches up to take hold of the top rope and hoists himself up onto the apron. Climbing through the ropes, he passes by the referee and leans against the opposite turnbuckle as he eyes up his opponent with a devilish grin on his face.
Ray Payne: Mistah Shovel lookz amuseded yo. Doesnots dinks dat Mistah Crissy iz a threated yo.
Johnny Vegas: I wouldn't underestimate him thoughn Altus.
Referee Ed Hawkersby steps into the ring, and being that this is an Ultraviolent match, he simply looks between the two men and calls out to Boy for the bell!
DING DING!!
The two big men start the match off quickly by both charging at each other, both men hitting a shoulder block on the other that goes nowhere. Both Altus and Cristion stand tall for a moment before Altus dares Cristion to attempt another strike. Cristion obliges his opponent, turning towards the northern ropes before taking off in full stride. Cristion hits the ropes and returns towards the center of the ring with full momentum where Sokaris is waiting for him. Cristion throws everything he can into a running shoulder tackle, but he barely gets Altus to take a step backward upon the massive impact. Now Altus’s turn, Altus bounds himself towards the eastern ropes at full speed before bouncing off and returning with a running shoulder tackle of his own. Again, the opponent barely takes a step back to absorb the massive impact. Cristion returns Altus’ shoulder tackle with an uppercut forearm smash, to which Altus replies with a straight right fist. The Legion begins to cheer as the two big men begin to brawl.
Ray Payne: Da Legion iz cheerin yo.
Terra Skye: Well, it's not everyday you get to see two immovable objects going up against one another. And these two are showing it here.
Gary grabs Cristion by the back of his head to pull him into repeated hard forearm smashes, each impact of flesh on flesh ringing out within the walls of the Carnage Arena. Altus uses his grip to pull Nathan Cristion towards the western ropes to throw him over the top rope, but a sidestep and a twist allows Cristion to shift the momentum and to send Altus over the ropes instead, landing hard on the concrete below. Cristion steps through the ropes onto the ring apron, but Altus is right back up and he throws a big boot towards the ankles of his opponent. He kicks Cristion’s feet so far out from underneath of him that Nathan falls flat on his face on the ring apron as if someone had ddt-ed him. The Shovel Headed Kill Machine member grabs the House of the Holy member and throws him with hard impact into the northwestern ringside steps.
Johnny Vegas: There's still no semblance of control for either of these two men here.
Terra Skye: That's true. What one dishes out, the other gives right back. I will say though, I don't think I've ever seen someone kick another person's legs out from under them like that. Impressive.
Ray Payne: Fur a bad guy, yo… Mistah Shovel iz a very guud wrestlah, yo.
The Legion is getting pumped as Cristion fights his way back to his feet, crawling along the northern side of the ringside area gripping at the apron to pull himself up. Altus grabs a road sign from the litany of weapons strewn about, and stalks his opponent the moment that he gets back to his feet. Cristion’s back still turned, Altus lays his full weight into a steel road sign shot that catches Cristion in the back of the head! Cristion stumbles forward, hitting the apron once more before falling to the ground. The steel sign is bent, but that doesn’t stop Altus from cracking Cristion in the back again.
Terra Skye: Aaand here comes the weapons.
Johnny Vegas: It's an Ultraviolent match! That's what is supposed to happen! Beautiful shot to the head by Altus though, damn!
Altus throws the sign down and goes for a weapon more suitable to his style - a light tube. Cristion clutches at his back while using the aide of the northeastern ring post to pull himself back to his feet. Nathan Cristion turns to see Gary Altus coming at him at full stride with the light tube cocked and loaded like a baseball bat. Cristion barely ducks just in time as Altus swings for the fences, unfortunately for him though, the tube connects with the ring post instead and sends shattered glass flying into the crowd and over the announcers area.
Ray Payne: Incumins yo!
Terra Skye: Jesus! Why does something ALWAYS have to happen over here?! Fucking light tubes should be outlawed!
Johnny Vegas: You are such a prude! It's just a little broken glass sweetie. You'll live.
Terra Skye: I think I got some in my hair.
Stunned for a moment, Cristion sees his opportunity on Altus and hits another uppercutting forearm that sends Altus dropping back two full steps on his heels, causing him to drop the busted end of the light tube still in his grasp. Sokaris quickly regains his balance though, and charges Cristion who kicks him in the gut. Cristion grabs Sokaris by his hair and smashes him face first into the ring post! There’s a loud ding, as if someone had rung the bell, followed by the loud ‘Oohs’ of the concerned audience as Altus slumps over before landing face first on the concrete. Cristion places his boot on the back of Altus’s head and walks over him, pressing the entire weight of his body down in hopes to grind his opponents face against the ground.
Ray Payne: Lookie! Dere iz sum in mah suit pocket, yo!
Johnny Vegas: Cristion has found himself in control, and believe you me, I wouldn't want that big fucker walking over my head like that. Ouch.
Terra Skye: Cristion definitely had the wherewithal to see Altus coming with that light tube, and he finds himself in control after putting his opponent through a painful sounding trip into the ring post.
Cristion pulls Altus back to his feet and throws him into the nearside metal “bikerack” barricade, the impact drawing a reaction from the crowd not only from the noise of flesh on metal but also the fact that it backed the entire railing up three feet closer to them. Audience members scramble as Cristion hoists Altus up into the air and then drops him chest first down along the barricade with a hard snake eyes. The impact would incapacitate most normal men but Sokaris responds with a spinning discus shortarm clothesline that nearly decapitates Cristion and sends him back first onto the unforgiving concrete in a hurry.
Terra Skye: Altus outta nowhere!
Ray Payne: Holie Shizz yo! Mistah Shovel wuz jus outah it… now he backs in its, yo. Dat iz amasingz.
Sokaris stomps down on Cristion a few times for good measure before walking towards the announcers side of the ring (East side) for more weapons. He takes just a moment to grin as he sees the announce table covered in tiny shards of broken glass before he finds a separate table that he starts to set up right in front of them.
Johnny Vegas: Hey! What do you-
Terra Skye: They're not using the announce table… I'd shut up.
Johnny Vegas: Right. Good call.
Just as the table is placed, Cristion attacks from behind with a hammer fist to the back of Altus’s head that have both men stumbling forward, now at the southwest corner of the ringside area. Altus stops himself with both hands on the ring steps, and throws a mule kick backward at his opponent that catches him in the abdomen and stops him. Sokaris turns and applies a quick bearhug, but Cristion uses the points of his thumbs to gouge at the eyes of his opponent. This prompts Ref Hawkersby to give a rare warning in an UltraViolent rules Match, but before Cristion can even respond, Altus headbuts Cristion in the face while blinded. The impact sends Cristion reeling and holding his nose in pain. Sokaris, still blinded, charges at where he hears his opponent, but the tactic works against him as Nathan Cristion ducks his head down low and throws Sokaris high over his shoulder with an extreme angle back body drop! The crowd gasps as Altus hits his left shoulder on the edge of the ring apron and takes a hard spill on the top of his head at the concrete below, but perhaps the apron twisting him just enough to avoid serious injury. Either way, Cristion examines the table that was set up by his opponent, then grabs a pane of glass that was perched against the ring to lay across the top of the table.
Terra Skye: Oh good God… this isn't good.
Ray Payne: I feelz like we iz gunna be in da fire zones, yo.
Johnny Vegas: Maybe we should slide back a few feet… errr… miles?
Cristion has blood running from his nostrils as he finds a baseball bat with thumbtacks glued to it and returns to where Altus is pulling himself back to his feet. Altus is favoring the left arm considerably, perhaps from the shoulder impact, but turns himself only to be met with the barrel of that bat being smashed into his midsection! The bat sticks to Gary’s shirt, and rips the fabric as Cristion pulls it away. Cristion hoists the bat high above his head and slams the tack covered weapon into the small of Altus’ back!
Terra Skye: Oh my God… that is just sickening. That. Is. Just.
Johnny Vegas: That was GREAT!
The Legion winces along with Sokaris as he stumbles towards the northeast ring post. Cristion follows with the tack bat in hand, swinging it at Altus but this time it's Cristion with a miss as his weapon collides with the ring post. Altus rolls towards the barricade, and picks up a kendo stick during the roll. Cristion swings the bat on a straight downward trajectory at Gary’s skull, but Altus counters by blocking the shot with the kendo stick!
Ray Payne: Dis iz like a swordie fightz, yo!
On one knee, Gary fights his way up as he holds the block on the tack covered bat with the stick in his hands. Altus swipes to the right with the kendo stick and it breaks Cristion’s grip on the bat! Sokaris thrusts the tip of the Singapore cane into Nathan Cristion’s abdomen arena, which drives the air out of Cristion’s lungs! But Cristion, showing a full display of toughness, pushes through the pain and returns with an uppercut fist to Gary’s stomach as the man went for another kendo stick shot. Altus doubled over, Cristion pulls his opponents head between his legs and quickly hoists the large man up into the powerbomb position. Altus, with the kendo stick still in his hands, lowers the boom down across the forehead of Cristion as he sits on his shoulder! Cristion, now wobbly with Altus still up - Gary pushes himself forward and slides down the back of Cristion. No! Cristion catches Sokaris in the crucifix powerbomb position, charges forward, and launches him back of the head first into the northeastern ring post!
Terra Skye: HOW IS HE NOT DEAD?!
C-DUB C-DUB C-DUB C-DUB
Nathan Cristion drops down on top of Gary Altus on the concrete floor. Referee Ed Hawkersby, now wearing gloves, Carefully glides down amongst the broken glass on the concrete floor to count the pin!
One!
Two!
Th-Kickout by Altus!
Johnny Vegas: I don't know how in the actual fuck Altus just kicked out of that. That just goes to show how tough this son of a bitch really is. Amazing.
Terra Skye: Shocking. Really… Wow.
Ray Payne: I thoughted Dat he wuz out like a shovel, y-
Johnny Vegas: A shovel? It's a light you moron.
Ray Payne: Tommytoes, pottyos yo. I satz whut I wunt, yo.
Nathan Cristion can’t believe it, and is very visibly upset. He immediately rises to his feet with his attention turned towards Hawkersby. Cristion wipes the blood away from his nose and turns back to Altus, who seemingly miraculously is working his way back to his feet while cradling the left arm. Cristion takes out a bit of his frustration on Altus with some hard right hands, but Altus begins to fight back. Altus powers through the pain and delivers a headbutt that rocks Cristion backward. Cristion, angered, charges right into a drop toe hold by Altus that drops him throat first down on the top of the metal barricade!
Terra Skye: I can't believe this! Altus is fighting back and Cristions windpipe might be damaged!
Johnny Vegas: So.. we're just going to ignore the fact that Ray just called potatoes, pottyos?
Terra Skye: That's the plan. Remember, Boy is employed by CW too.. how surprised can you honestly be?
Boy: Tweever turkey faces of bologna! FURFFLE TURFFLE! DIE.
Johnny Vegas: Point taken.
Ray Payne: Boy spokeded yo!
Cristion fights his way back to his knees, albeit slowly. In this time, Sokaris found himself the thumbtack bat. With Cristion still on all fours, Sokaris of the Shovel Headed Kill Machine applies a bat assisted camel clutch, using the tacked portion of the bat to dig into the flesh on Cristion’s forehead in full view of the Legion! Blood begins to pour out of Cristion as he screams out in agony.
Terra Skye: Ohh God!
Hawkersby asks if Cristion submits!
It looks like Cristion is close to tapping!
His hand is hovering over the glass covered concrete as Altus wrenches the hold in deeper!
Cristion is just about to tap out when Altus drops the hold, and drops him on the glass and blood covered concrete floor!
Johnny Vegas: This isn't good.. I can sense it.
Sokaris grabs Cristion by the back of his head, handful of hair, and drags him over to the glass pane covered table that is set up in front of the announce table. With a huge headbutt, Cristion falls backward onto the surface of it. The Legion rises to their feet as the one armed Sokaris makes his way up the ring steps and struggles to pull himself up the Southside turnbuckles.
Terra Skye: Guys…
Ray Payne: Whut?
Johnny Vegas: We should probab-
With the entire Legion shouting, Cristion looks up through his own blood to see Altus leaping off of the top rope to come crashing down through him, they glass, and the table beneath it with a huge top rope double foot stomp from the top all the way to the floor!
Johnny Vegas: FAAACCCKKKK!
Ray Payne: Iz he deads?
C-DUB C-DUB C-DUB C-DUB
Terra Skye: He might be after that ‘beyond the pale’ - double foot stomp from the top rope! Jesus Christ!
Both competitors writhing in agony, Altus slides himself over broken glass and pieces of the shattered table for the cover on Cristion! The Legion shouts out as they count along with the Referee!
One!
Two!
Three!!
DING DING DING!!
Sokaris the the only one able enough to pull himself away from the pinfall, and after using the ring apron to pull himself back to his feet, allows the gloved Referee Ed Hawkersby to raise his arm high in victory! Hawkersby tries to raise the left arm first, but after Sokaris yanked it away, he turned so that the Referee could raise his right arm instead. Altus takes the CW Tag Team Championship belt away from Boy and brings it over to the downed member of the House of the Holy and uses it to prove a point as he talks trash to his bloodied opponent.
Matt Wylde: And your winner…. GARYYYY ALTUSSSSSS!!!!
Terra Skye: Altus proving here that relieving SHKM of the tag team gold won't be an easy task for anyone.
Johnny Vegas: Impressive… IMPRESSIVE showing from Nathan Cristion tonight though, he put Gary Altus through his paces in this one. What a fucking match.
Ray Payne: Dat wuz supah intenses yo. Like fo realies. Mistah Shovel an Mistah Crissy is not no onez tah be messed wif, yo. Dats whut I takes frum dis.
Terra Skye: We can talk more about this during the commercial break, while they clean all this carnage up!
Johnny Vegas: *Grumbles* If i’da had the fucking headset… I could have told everyone that-
